Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Fun and Fantasies with Friends: Ticketmaster

This is the second story in the series, Fun and Fantasies with Friends.  As the series title suggests, this is a work of fiction, though it is based on a very real friend in my life.  I hope you enjoy!


It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I was hanging out with my friend Alex at his place when we came across it.  A promo ad for a local venue flashed across the screen that Bon Iver was coming to town.  I didn't recognize the name, but the images on TV I was able to deduce that they were some sort of indy-rock band.  The ad concluded with the ominous voice of a faceless announcer informing us that only a few seats were left and to book now before they're gone.

As it turned out, Alex was a big fan of the band and knew quite a bit about them, including the fact that they'd just won a Grammy for best new artist.  I could tell that he was really excited and listened patiently until he was finished.  Despite his enthusiasm, I wasn't particularly jumping out of my seat when he asked me if I wanted to go.

"I don't know, I guess so…"  I began to reply before I suddenly realized that I'd have nothing better to do with my Thursday night anyhow.   "Uh… yeah, ok sure."

"Really?"  Alex asked enthusiastically.  "Are you sure?  You don't seem to impressed."

"Yeah.  Come on, let's buy the tickets now before they sell out."  I said with a reassuring smile.

"Cool, do you have your laptop?  Mine's in my bedroom."

I sighed.  How could such a beefy, muscular stud capable of lifting hundreds of pounds over his head be so lazy that he couldn't manage walking all ten feet to his room? 

"Yeah, I'll pull up the ticket sales website."  I said, clicking my way through the web-browser until I found what I was looking for.

"Alright, Thursday night at 8pm, $45 per ticket…. do you want me to order yours too?"  I asked as I began typing in my billing info.

"Nah, it's alright, I'll by mine right after you."  Alex shrugged and stared down absentmindedly at his debit card until I finished.

"You're up," I said, handing him my laptop and returned my attention to the TV.  Alex had flipped over to Comedy Central, which was airing the first 20 minutes of "Forgetting Sara Marshall."

"FUCK!"  Alex roared.

"What?" I spun from the TV to see my friend's face red with anger.

"They're sold out!"

"No, how could they, I just bought mine!"  I shouted mutual outrage.

"Well, I guess that means you got the last one."  He muttered angrily, taking on the appearance of a pouting child as he shoved the laptop back in my hands.  "You didn't even know about Bon Iver until I told you."

"I know buddy, I'm sorry, that really sucks… if only you'd let me buy your ticket with mine-"

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want to hear that right now."  Alex grumbled testily.

"Maybe we could find a scalper…"

"Not likely.  The concert's in a couple of days."  Alex said, the anger already beginning to drain from his face.  "Ughhhh, this fucking blows!"

"I'm sorry man, I wish there was something I could do."  I said at last.

Alex looked up at me.  "You could let me buy your ticket off you.  No point for you to go see a band you don't even know all by yourself." 

He was right.  The truth is, I wasn't interested in going to the Bon Iver concert in the first place, let alone without Alex - but I sensed that if I was careful, I could use this situation to benefit both of us. 

I stalled for a minute, hemming a hawing as if I was deliberating the merits of his proposal.  Once I stretched that out for as long as I believably could, I told Alex I was reluctant to give up my seat.  After all, he'd talked the group up so much, now my interest was peaked.  To that, he countered that he'd pay me $20 more than I'd payed for my ticket.

Alex drove on with his pitch.  "Come on man, the tickets only cost you $45, I'm going to give you $60." 

"That's only $15 more than I paid."  I winked.  "But it's not just the money.  I haven't gone out to a concert in ages!

Alex sighed.  "We can go see anyone else you want, but this…"

"I don't know," I continued, "you really got me excited to see them…. so if I'm going to hand these over, I'm going to want something better than your $15."

"What then?"

"Well, I'm guessing a scalper would probably charge you double  or even more the day of the concert, so…."


I scratched my chin.  "It's just,  know money's pretty tight for you at the moment, but I might be willing to hand them over in a trade."

Alex cocked his head to the side. "A trade?" 

"Yeah," I nodded.  "Hmmm, tell you what, I'll give you my ticket - for free, the very last one in fact - so long as you meet my one condition.


I chuckled.  I could see that I was annoying him, so I decided to come straight out with it.  "I want to kick you in the nuts."

Alex did a double take.  "HUH?????"

"You heard.  Those two dangly things between your legs, I want to make them acquainted with my foot." I said as sincerely as I could possibly sound.

"Fuck no, are you serious?  What the hell man, why do you want to kick me in the balls?"

I shook my head.  "It doesn't matter why, those are just my conditions."

"Sick bastard…" he huffed under his breath, but despite his rebuff, I could tell that he hadn't dismissed my proposal completely out of hand.

There was a long period of silence between the two of us, until finally Alex broke the ice and asked, "One kick in the nuts, and I get your ticket, free and clear?"

I smiled back at him.  "Almost.  I want three."

"THREE!?!?!?  Fuck you man!"

I shrugged.

"No way am I letting you kick me in the balls more than once man, NO WAY!"

"Ok fine, no big deal.  I guess I'll be busy Thursday night."

I felt a pang of guilt from the mixture of shock and sadness that masked my friend's face.

"Come on man, please, just let me buy them off you."

I breathed in slowly and shook my head.  For a moment I nearly broke - I mean seriously, how could I even think suggesting this was a good idea?

Luckily for me, it turned out that I was made made of sterner stuff and I managed to shake my head once again.  "Nope.  I'm sorry man, you know my price."

I could tell Alex was annoyed at me for taking such a hard line and we ended up not talking any more about it any more that night or even the day after. The truth is I would give him the tickets before I ever accepted any money, but if I could get him to concede and get the opportunity to bust his balls, I was taking it.  I'd taken plenty of swings as Alex's gonads in the past, but most of them had been light or barely glancing. 

This was my chance to get him good and I wasn't going to pass it up!  Before long, I began looking at our situation as a waiting game, and I had a feeling Alex would fold before I did.

As it turned out, my speculations were proven right when Alex blinked first!!!

I got a call from from him late thursday afternoon with just a few hours before the concert and asked me one more time if I was still serious about my terms, (to which I of course said I was).  He still seemed put out by my insistence, but eventually he told me to go to his place before the concert with tickets in hand.

When I got to Alex's apartment, I let myself in the back door and found him pacing in the hallway.

"Hey." I said when I saw him standing in the doorway waiting for me.  It was almost impossible for me to hide the joy and anticipation of what was to come.

"Hey," he replied quietly.  Clearly he wasn't looking forward to our transaction nearly as much as I was.

I leaned against the wall and listened to the silence before determining that both his roommates were out of the flat, which meant that we were alone.

"So," I said after a long pause, "you ready to do this or what?"

"I really just can't pay you for the ticket?"

I shook my head.

Alex let out a sigh.  "Fine, whatever you sick fuck, lets get this over with."

I chuckled.  Normally I would have balked at that sort of rebuke, but I let the comment slide off my back.  After all, it was coming from a stud who was coming to terms with the idea that he was about to get his nuts rocked… thrice.

"Where do you want to do this?"  I asked as I fell in to step behind Alex and followed him down the hall.

"Back in here,"  he said as he stepped in to his bedroom.  "I don't want my roommates walking in on this."

I smiled at how naughty it would be if we were caught.

"Come on, shut the door behind you.  I want to get this over with - I'll need time to ice my nuts down before the show."  He said, his hands already placed protectively over the neatly tucked bulge in his jeans.  I stared at that bulge and felt a boost of adrenaline as I imaged what it'd feel like to smash it with my kicks.

I grinned as the thought flashed through my mind and nodded.

"Maybe you should stand in front of the bed, you know, incase you fall backwards."  I suggested a bit too cheerily for Alex's taste. 

He scowled back at me and stood where I indicated.

"Alright, perfect - and one last thing, would you mind taking your pants off? I'd like to see what I'm aiming for."

"Fuck you!" Alex glowered at me.  "I'm not getting naked, this is already so fucking gay."

"You're wearing underwear, aren't you?  I don't want to see your cock or anything, I just want to be able to see my target - or should I say, 'targets'".

"No."  Alex shook his head sternly.  "Either we do with my pants on, or not at all."

We stared at each other for several long moments.

"Fine, then not at all."  I shrugged, turning back out the door.

I heard Alex huff behind my back.

"Wait, fine… alright?"

I made sure to wipe the huge smile off my face before I turned back around to see Alex unzipping his fly and pealing off his designer jeans.  His underwear turned out to be a pair of cute banana-yellow American Eagle boxer-briefs.  They looked new and expensive - and clung to every bump and bulge of muscle and flesh on his body. 

My eyes shot straight for Alex's bulge, and I was suddenly transfixed.  It wasn't the size of it, which was more than adequate, but the perfect shape of the outline of his soft dick and plum-shaped balls made from being cupped in the cotton pouch.  In that moment I was so glad that I'd pushed for him to do this in his undies, I could have done a cartwheel.

Alex left his shirt on and shifted his stance left to right as he pulled down his underwear and repositioned his junk, which appeared to have gotten wedged back in the gap between his thighs.  When he was done, his manhood was put in an even more prominent position, jutting out towards me in an even more impressive sight.

"So are you going to stand there and whack off, or are we going to do this?"  He asked impatiently.

"Oh no, we're doing this."  I replied jovially.  "As soon as you spread your legs, we can get started.

Alex rolled his eyes and lout out another huff and widened his stance by about a foot. 

"I can't believe this is happening."  He muttered under his breath.  "i hope you're happy."

"Not yet, but check back in a minute."  I said with a wink.  "Ready?"

Alex's nod was nearly imperceptible.

"Ok, here it goes -"  I said, arching back my leg, I swung by foot forward and let it fly right toward my young hunky friend's sac. 

In that very moment, it suddenly occurred to me that I should have taken my time to take better aim for Alex's gonads - after all, how many more occasions would I get to bust his balls like this?  And I hadn't even thought to bring a camera to record this, how stupid of me!  I should have come more prepared…

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the feel of my socking-clad foot crashing into Alex's soft package with an incredibly loud THUD.  The impact was jarring, though I'll admit, not nearly as much as it was for Alex.  It almost didn't feel real as I watched his two, perfectly shaped testicles flatten out - as if in slow motion - as they squished against his groin.

Alex yodeled in pain and his knees came rushing together as he slipped down to the floor, coddling his busted balls.

"Awwwww, you fuck…. I'm not going to be able to have children now, thanks to you."  Alex whined as he gently palpitated the fleshy mound that had once contained his gonads.

"Take it easy, you'll be fine."  I waved my hands dismissively.  "I'll even give you a couple of minutes to recuperate before the next kick."

"No way, I'm done.  I can't take another hit like that, you practically neutered me!"

"Don't be such a baby!"  I chided him.

"Screw you, I'm done."  Alex said, rolling on to his back.  "Ahhhh fuck my balls…."

I could feel my erection press against my thigh as I watched my studly buddy cup his shattered nuts.

"If you let me take a quick look to check on them, we can count that as the second kick?"  I suggested.

"Hell now, I'm not letting you anywhere near my nuts.  You'd probably try to pop them if you got your hands on them!"

"No man, I'm not looking to de-nut you or anything, I just want to make sure you're ok." I responded genuinely.

"Forget it."  Alex replied firmly.

"Well then, if that's the case - I believe you owe me two more kicks…"

Alex coughed and his body shook as the fit ran it's course.

"No please, I can't…"  Alex whimpered like a wounded puppy.  He seemed so vulnerable in that moment and I felt myself being pulled in two directions - one to help take care of him, and the other to press on and continue to pound his nuggets in to paste.

Unfortunately for my friend, it was the latter choice that finally one out.

Alex gently moaned as I pulled him back on his feet.  "I'm not going to do it, seriously, I'm done."  Alex groaned as I tried to force his legs apart.

"Enough man, quit it!  I'm not going to let you bust my-"

Alex's protest was suddenly cut short when I drove my knee between his thighs.  I suppose he'd been expecting another kick, and wasn't prepared for an attack on his manhood in such close corders.  Luckily for him, my aim was off and I only grazed his balls, but it was enough contact for him to take notice.

"Ok, ok… shit… that's enough now!"  Alex cried, but I was to close to stop now.  Without missing a beat, I took aim and hammered my kneecap into Alex's yellow pouch.  This time the connection was solid and I smashed his gonads dead-on, ramming Alex's poor baby-makers all the way back into his pelvis.

"FUCK!!!!"  Alex roared, teetering back on the bed and landing in a fetal position.  "Ohhhhh, you crushed them right in to my gouch!!!!!"

I watched with pure delight as Alex's taught, muscly body quivered in the aftermath of the havoc my knee had visited upon his manhood.  Alex coughed hard as he tried to regain control over himself. 

"That's it, you shattered my balls.  I hope you're happy!"  Alex spat, his words were practically dripping with venom.  "I hope this is worth it, now that you've made me a eunuch!"

I chuckled and shook my head.  From where I was standing, Alex's precious plums weren't only intact, but swollen to an even more impressive size.

"You're fine.  Check and see for yourself if you don't believe me."

Alex grunted and shoved a hand down the front of his boxers and cupped his balls, rolling the contents of his bruised scrotum between his fingers until he was convinced that both jewels were still present and intact.

"FUCK man."

I nodded.  "Yeah, I got you pretty good that time.  You held up to it really well, I'm proud of you."

"Fuck you, and fuck your FUCKING PRIDE!"  Alex shot back, still cupping his nuts.

"Yeah, I know I deserve that." I said with a shrug.  "Here, let me help you up."

"Forget it, I can get up on my own, just give me a minute."  Alex muttered.

"I know, and I'm sorry - but look at the bright side, you'll be going to Bon Iver tonight."  I said, holding out the e-ticket I'd purchased just a few days ago - the single piece of paper that had set all this in motion several days before.

Alex shot me a scowl and pulled his hands out of his shorts to grab the ticket leaving himself open and the sight of that big, juicy pouch of his just hanging out and exposed was too much to resist. 

I pulled back the ticket just out of Alex's reach.  I could see that it annoyed him as he made a move to snatch it out of my hand.  At the same time, my right arm was already drawn back, and poised to strike.  Then, like a thunderbolt raining down from the sky, my closed fist  plowed in to Alex's tightly-packed ballsac, dividing the twin orbs right down the center and bashing into them like like a battering ram.

Alex screamed like a wild beast as his nuts suffered a critical strike and with the added affect of being crunched for the third and final time, he immediately fell in to what appeared to be an almost catatonic state.

I was so turned on, that after I initially checked to make sure he was ok, I immediately excused myself to the rest room where I shot the fastest load of my life.  When I returned, Alex was on his side, the only sound he made was the occasional moan.

I stuck around for over an hour, just to make sure that he really was alright.  When he finally could speak again, I expected him to curse me out or tell me to get the fuck out.  Instead, he simply put his pants back on and changed his shirt for the concert.

The longer he didn't speak, the more guilty I began to feel.  I asked him if I could get him some ice, but he said he was fine.  It turned out to be all he said, but the mere fact that he was actually still talking to me meant that things between us would probably go back to where they had been… at least, as soon as the swelling in his pants went down.

When he was ready to go, I offered Alex a ride to the concert, but he said he'd take the bus.  Then we bumped fists in our customary way when we parted, and I watched from the back porch as Alex walked down the sidewalk and out of view.  It would have gone unnoticed by anyone else on the street that night, but I'm convinced I detected a slight limp in his gait. 

The thought of Alex plodding his way across town to the Bon Iver concert with a sore set of nuts I gave him was  all the incentive I needed to go back inside and use the bathroom and deposited one final load before heading out.  I still felt a bit guilty, but it was slowly giving way and by the time I left the apartment, my nuts were drained and aching too - though, I was sure the ache Alex was experiencing was far more severe. 

I made a mental note to check the next venue coming to town when I got home later that evening.  I hoped it was someone else Alex might want to see.  Who knows, scalping tickets for ball busting payments might become a new business model?  Move over Ticketmaster, here I cum!

 - I picked this pic because the guy's cute and is wearing a hot pair of American Eagle Boxer-Briefs that I know Alex also happens to own. Nice to see it packages the junk together so nicely ;-) -


Anonymous said...

These are great stories, but could you please write another "men of the house?" They're my favorite.

bbmal said...

I'm working on it! Keep posted!